Why seeking confirmation never works.

Cathy met man en honden

Why seeking confirmation never works.

We all look for confirmation from others at some point in our life, but most of the times when we do so, it comes from a place of doubt and insecurity. We need affirmation on something, and very often when we need it, it isn’t given to us. 

Here’s an example from my own experience to explain why it works that way and to demonstrate what you can do to overcome this.

Around 10 years ago I was very driven and fierce, but immensely insecure beneath the surface. I had a boyfriend for 2 years who was good at heart, but actually we never really worked as a couple. We always used to fight and both ended up feeling miserable about ourselves.

I never really felt loved in that relationship.
At one point, I told him that he never gives me a compliment and that it made me feel very insecure. His response to that was eye opening for me!

He said: ‘I do compliment you, but it never gets through. It’s like you don’t even hear it.’ 

In reality, that’s exactly what happens.
When you (subconsciously) believe that you aren’t worthy of love, or that you will be disappointed anyway, or that you aren’t good enough – your brain is programmed to perceive your reality that way. 

It’s actually an ingenious system that filters out everything around you that matches your beliefs. So you don’t even do it on purpose, your brain is just showing you what’s going on inside

If you know that the way you perceive your reality, is simply a reflection of your inner world, you understand that the only way to change anything in life is to get started with your own belief system and the patterns that are lying underneath.

The first step to do this is by getting conscious about it. Only then can you seek support to help you alter your subconscious beliefs and with that your reality.

Do you feel like this is exactly what’s been holding you back? Schedule a call with me – I would love to have a chat and see what we can do for your specific situation: 

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